Bible Question:

Years before our divorce, my wife found a female friend. Over time she spent more and more time with her friend, ignoring the needs of the family and putting her friend over the family and marriage. My daughter saw them kissing out the back window one day. That's when the problems started and my wife would not give up her friend. Finally she moved out into a apartment and sometimes her girl friend was spending the night at her house. I called her on my cell phone because we were seeing a marriage counselor trying to fix our marriage. Well, she told me that is none of my business that her friend was spending the night. She finally divorced me. I had phone recordings of her friend telling her over and over again that she loved her. I think something homosexual was going on but could not catch them in the act. My question is since she divorced me for no good reason, am I bound to her for the rest of my life to wait for her to come to her senses? Or can I remarry since the homosexual relationship between her and her friend? I am in great conflict on what to do.

Bible Answer:

I would encourage you to read three previous questions. Here they are: “Same Sex Patterns of Life,” “Biblical Divorce and Remarriage,” and “Is sex before marriage a sin?” It is important to completely read all of them especially the last one.

The Bible makes it clear that there are only two grounds for divorce: immorality and because an unbelieving spouse wants out of the marriage. The English form of the Greek word for “immorality,” in which we are interested, is porneia. Jesus said,

‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (NASB) Matthew 5:31-32

The word “unchastity” is porneia. PORNEIA includes homosexual relationships. Therefore, even though you said that your wife left for “no good reason,” she did commit immorality, if what you wrote is correct. This implies that you have the biblical right to divorce her. If you were still married, I would encourage you to attempt to rescue your marriage. We need to remember that God still hates divorce (Mal. 2:16), even though He grants the biblical right to divorce and remarriage in special situations. But in your case, the marriage is already dissolved. She divorced you. You are divorced, and you have the biblical right to marry again. You have God’s blessing for another union.


May I encourage you to seek a relationship in the Lord that will never dissolve. It is the most wonderful experience a man or woman can have – a deep emotional relationship with God. Start by reading “God’s Great Passion” and then thank Him every day for what He is doing in your life. He greatly loves us!