Bible Question:

As much as I want to believe in the goodness of God, I simply can't. God loves those who sexually abuse their children. My parents are taken care of. I struggle for love, acceptance and joy. Why does God's will include pain and torture for some of His kids? Why is He so angry at us? If not, why is He silent to my questions. Is He afraid?

Bible Answer:

We are sorry that you are struggling in your relationship with God. God loves everyone, including you. The scriptures tell us that God is love (1 John 4:8, 16). That message occurs throughout the Bible including John 3:16.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (NASB) John 3:16

Jesus forgave those who crucified Him. That is, He forgave His enemies.

But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.” (NASB) Luke 23:34

Yet, God will one day send those who reject Jesus Christ to the Lake of Fire for all eternity. (Rev. 20:11-15). God will have to do that because He is a holy and just God (Isaiah 6:3). He loves everyone, but He will also have to punish those who reject Jesus Christ. So, who are those who reject God? The answer is those who do not believe in Jesus Christ. Jesus warned us that those who are not for Him are against Him. That is very simple. There is no middle ground. No one can be neutral.

He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. (NASB) John 3:18

He who is not with Me is against Me . . . (NASB) Matthew 12:30

Why is all of this important to your question? The answer is found in the following verse,

This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. (NASB) 1 John 3:23

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (NASB) 1 John 4:7-8

One indication that a person belongs to God, that is, believes in and has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, is that he or she loves other people. This occurs because God has put love into the hearts of Christians (Rom. 5:5).

. . . because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (NASB) Rom. 5:5

This means that God has given every believer the ability to love anyone when the Holy Spirit fills his or her life. One indicator that a person is not a Christian is that he does not and cannot love others. This does not mean that we must love a person’s sin. God loves people but not their sin. He hates their sin, and those who continue in sin and never believe in Jesus Christ will eventually be sent to the Lake of Fire.

Is it possible that you are unforgiving and angry with your parents and God?  If you are a Christian, God has given you the ability to love your parents, even though they mistreated you. It is time to forgive your parents and apologize to God for being angry with Him.  When we learn to forgive those who wrong us, we experience the peace and calm of God in our lives. Should God prevent everyone from committing sin? If so, then there are many things that He would never have allowed you to do. In fact, under those circumstances, most people would complain that God was incredibly controlling and unfair. People want the freedom to sin and enjoy their sin. They do not want to be constrained. God has given us that freedom and the consequences that go with sin.

Do not be angry with God. Apologize to Him. He did not sin. He is righteous. It is okay to recognize that your parents sinned and behaved very wrongly, but it is important that you forgive them. There is a great book that I would recommend to you to read. It is called, “Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help For a Common Problem” by Robert D. Jones.

My last question is, “Have you ever believed in Jesus Christ and then asked God to forgive your sins and to take you to heaven?” “Have you given yourself or yielded yourself to Him?” If you have never taken that step, that is the first place to start. Then God can heal your deep wounds and hurts. Please read “Searching For God” and “The Rescue!


The negative consequences of sin in this life are the result of sinners  choosing to disobey God’s laws. Some day He will stop all sin because He is holy. But for now He calls us to forgive when others wrong us and to know that He loves us. Forgiveness is the solution to your heartache and pain. We strongly encourage you to read the book.

Suggested Links:

Searching For God
The Rescue!
Why do bad things happen to God's people?
I Am Suffering