Bible Question:

I read your answer about a marriage related question in which you wrote: “Today most governments require a ceremony of some sort to legalize the marriage. God expects us to obey our government (Romans 13). So this requires some human to perform the marriage. A wedding ceremony does not make a marriage. It is a heart issue. ” Some of your statements confused me. My question is: “What makes two people married in God's eyes? ” Does it happen when some government authorized human performs the wedding [the first part of your statement] or does it happen when someone commits himself or herself to another person as a lifetime partner even without a wedding ceremony? ”

Bible Answer:

The previous question and answer to which you refer is “If you feel married to someone, are you married in the eyes of God?” The focus of that question was that marriage involves both a legal and heart commitment to marriage. We do not mean a “puppy love” or an infatuation, but a decision of the heart. Marriage involves a legal and heart commitment in God’s eyes. The point that we were attempting to make is that even though marriage is a legal contract between two people, the commitment of the heart is also required.

Some couples assume that when the strong sexual passion disappears from a marriage, “love” has left the marriage. This is an immature view of love and marriage. Couples are usually sexually drawn to one another, perhaps more so with men than with women. With time the feelings change and are less intense. This is normal as their sexual passions are being satisfied and true love is growing. Unfortunately, some couples conclude that true “love” has left the marriage just at the time that true love may actually be maturing. We can thank the movies and novels for communicating this wrong view of marriage. True love involves a more stable emotional relationship.

A formal or legal wedding ceremony by itself does not make a marriage. There are spouses who have affairs with someone other than their marriage partner and violate the marriage. It is obvious that they are not committed to their partner from the heart. There are also husbands and wives who are dreaming of relations with others. They have violated their commitment and the friendship with their spouse. I know of a couple that is legally married, but the husband does not want the marriage. He considers his wife a roommate and nothing more. She is someone who helps him pay the bills and do the chores and nothing more. That is not a marriage. God tells us in Malachi 2:14 that He views marriage as both a legal commitment and a heart commitment – a friendship.

. . . the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (NASB) Malachi 2:14

Marriage in God’s eyes is both a legal commitment and a heart commitment.


May the Lord bless you.

Suggested Links:

It truly a marriage in the eyes of God if you are married by a Justice of the Peace?
If you feel married to someone, are you married in the eyes of God?