Bible Question:

Is it possible to remarry the same person who has had an affair and have a happy marriage? What is the biblical point of view?

Bible Answer:

Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages in the United States. This probably occurs because the individuals are wounded from the first marriage, and it is easier to divorce the next time once you have been through the first divorce. But the biggest reasons for the higher rate of divorce is that the spouses have never learned to serve the other partner, and commitment is not something that is important to them. Now you are probably wondering, “What does this have to do with me?”

Accept Me The Way I Am

Many couples today believe that my spouse “should accept me the way I am.” That is a common statement in many cultures. But it does not please God. Such comments reveal a self-centered attitude. Real marriage is about loving one another and adjusting to them. Listen to these verses.

. . . and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her . . . Ephesians 5:21-25 (NASB)

This passage simply says that a wife is to submit to her husband just as she is to submit to Jesus. When a wife does not submit to her husband, she is not submitting to Jesus. She is being rebellious to both her husband and the Lord. Likewise, a husband who is not willing to sacrifice himself for his wife is not very pleasing to the Lord. It is not possible to be selfish at home and really serve Jesus. If he has not learned to serve his wife, he does not know how to serve Jesus in ministry or love Jesus. This means that both the husband and wife must change in order to please each other.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love. In this passage we discover that love does no seek its own, that is, it is not self-centered. It is others centered. In the following passage we highlighted an important phrase.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASB)

In 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 the apostle reveals that a godly marriage is one in which both spouses seek to please the other spouse. That is evidence of love within a marriage.

“Wife My Covenant”

In Malachi 2:14 God tells us that marriage is a covenant. It is a commitment between two people.

. . . the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14 (NASB)

In a self-centered marriage, these are empty words. The “commitment” only lasts as long as the person is happy. What a sad definition of a marriage. In a marriage where even one spouse has an awesome relationship with God, the marriage will eventually change and become heaven on earth, unless the other spouse completely rejects God.


What is the possibility of a happy re-marriage? The answer is, “It depends on your relationship with God!” May I also encourage you to read “Searching For God,” “Filled With The Spirit” and “Seeking God’s Will.” May the Lord bless both of you.

Suggested Links:

How to be Filled With The Spirit
Seeking God’s Will
Marriage In Splendor - God's View