Bible Question:

Is it possible to remarry the same person who has had an affair and have a happy marriage? What is the biblical point of view?

Bible Answer:

Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages in the United States. This probably occurs because the individuals are wounded from the first marriage, and it is easier to divorce the next time once you have been through the first divorce. But the biggest reasons for the higher rate of divorce is that the spouses have never learned to serve the other partner, and commitment is not something that is important to them. Now you are probably wondering, “What does this have to do with me?”

Accept For The Way I Am

Many couples today believe that my spouse “should accept me the way I am.” That is a common statement in many cultures. But it does not please God. It is also self-centered. Real marriage is about loving one another. Listen to these verses.

. . . and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her . . . (NASB) Eph. 5:21-25

This passage simply says that a wife is to submit to her husband just as she is to submit to Jesus. When a wife does not submit to her husband, she is not submitting to Jesus. She is being rebellious to both her husband and the Lord. Likewise, a husband who is not willing to sacrifice himself for his wife is not very pleasing to the Lord. It is not possible to be selfish at home and really serve Jesus. If he has not learned to serve his wife, he does not know how to serve Jesus in ministry or love Jesus. This means that both the husband and wife must change in order to please each other.

Wife My Covenant

In Malachi 2:14 God tells us that marriage is a covenant. It is a commitment between two people.

. . . the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (NASB) Mal. 2:14

In a self-centered marriage, these are empty words. The “commitment” only lasts as long as the person is happy. What a sad definition of a marriage. In a marriage where even one spouse has an awesome relationship with God, the marriage will eventually change and become heaven on earth, unless the other spouse completely rejects God.

Conclusion:

What is the possibility of a happy re-marriage? The answer is, “It depends on your relationship with God!” May I also encourage you to read “Filled With The Spirit” and “Seeking Direction“? May the Lord bless both of you.