Bible Question:

I believe in God and His son Jesus and what He did for the world. I am stuck in the sin of online pornography and have tried to get over it for many years. I have prayed many times for God to heal me but end up in this habit over and over again. I feel like I will go to hell because I know the good I should do and do not do it. I have thought about killing myself many times, but I have a family that I can not leave behind on their own. What can I do? I really need help.

Bible Answer:

Pornography is a difficult sin habit to break because it captures the emotions and thoughts as no other sin can do. Victory over pornography starts by realizing that it is a sin. It is not just an addiction, a compulsion, or some other type of habitual behavior. It is a sin – a habitual sin. It appears from your question that you already understand that pornography is what it truly is – sin. We are assuming that you believe Jesus is God, that He died for your sins and returned to life. We are also assuming that you want God to take over your life and change you. That is step one towards victory.

The second step towards victory is to confess your sin and to realize that you need the Holy Spirit to change you in the inner person so that you can resist the temptation to look. Ephesians 3:16 says that the Holy Spirit can strengthen us. It also implies that we need to be strengthened. We cannot live the Christian life by ourselves.

. . . that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man . . . (NASB) Ephesians 3:16

The third step is to ask for the Holy Spirit to strengthen or empower you. In order for this to occur, you must first confess or admit your sins to God. You do not need a priest. Simply tell God what sins you have committed and agree with Him that your actions, thoughts, and emotions were sin. Then ask for the Holy Spirit to fill you and take control of you. In order to understand how to be filled with the Holy Spirit, we encourage you to read the study “Filled With The Spirit.” It is important to remember that you must confess your sin each time you fail. If you are serious about escaping from this sin, then you need to flee the sin and not come nor even get close to it.

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (NASB) 2 Tim. 2:22

Consider either 1) getting rid of your computer and television, 2) changing your internet provider to a Christian internet service that blocks pornography, or 3) obtain a “parental control” and have someone else control the settings and password.

Fourth, if you are married, we want to encourage you to tell your wife, and ask her to help you. She can help you by holding you accountable and meeting your physical needs. But her primary support is to pray for you. If you are really serious about stopping, tell a trusted friend or a pastor and ask him or her to hold you accountable and to pray for you. Accountability involves your telling them about your failures and successes and discussing how you can avoid the temptation and sin in the future.

Conclusion:

Victory over pornography does not come immediately. Faithfully follow the steps above and spend time in the Word of God, confess your sin and pour out your heart to God. You do not need counseling to gain victory. You do not need a twelve step program. The twelve step program causes a person to become dependent upon the group or the organization rather than setting him free. Victory occurs as you become more like Jesus Christ. This occurs as you constantly seek a godly life and are constantly filled with the Spirit. Philippians 2:12-13 summarizes it well,

So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (NASB) Phil. 2:12-13

Reference Links:

Peace With God
Filled With The Spirit
Is asking God to help me stop a bad habit selfish?
Can a Christian go to heaven even if they have a sin habit?
Is masturbation a sin?