Bible Question:

What does the Bible say about dating someone who was sexually active in the past but isn't any more?

Bible Answer:

God gives us principles and then expects us to follow them. He does not explicitly say anything about someone who has been sexually active. Therefore, we want to look at the following passages,

. . . she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (NASB) 1 Corinthians 7:39

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (NASB) 2 Timothy 2:22

Only In The Lord

The first passage tells us that God wants us to marry only someone who believes in Jesus Christ and considers Him to be the Lord and master of his/her life. This person is not someone who seeks his/her own desires and wishes. He/she seeks to honor God. Now that eliminates a lot of people. Since a person who has been sexually active outside of marriage has been disobedient to the Lord, the issue you will need to consider is “Does he/she show any sorrow or repentance for his past conduct?” If he/she really is sorry for his/her past conduct, then the following situations should not have occurred. Ask yourself these questions, “Has he/she already asked me for sex?” and “Has he/she made any sexual advances?” If the answer to both questions is “No,” then that is a positive sign. But if the answer to either question is “yes” he/she has asked for sex in some other way, then it is time to end the relationship.

Flee Lust

The next passage tells us to flee youthful lusts. This command from our Lord applies to every Christian, no matter how young or old. What is “youthful lusts”? Lust occurs when men and women engage in sex, prolonged and passionate kissing, touching one another in a sexual way, and nudity. If one is married, then these activities are okay. This means that is not okay to engage in these activities and see how close one can get to having sex. The goal is not to have your emotions sexually on fire and at the same time avoid getting burned. The goal is not to have your emotions on fire! Someone who has already had sex will have an incredibly strong urge to have sex again. There is a real danger that you will have sex with your partner unless there are strong rules between the two of you. Most likely you will have to set the boundary.


There is also another issue. It is very likely that someone who has been sexually active has a sexual disease. Some individuals have to take medications throughout their lives for their sexual diseases because they never disappear. There is the possibility of HIV or AIDS. Many are not aware that over 50 percent of the non-married women and men have had a sexual disease. This is a significant problem. The likelihood that he/she has had a sexual disease is a major issue. If you love the individual, you should ask him/her if you can speak with his doctor about this subject as it relates to him. Has he had or does he have a sexual disease? I would encourage you to examine his/her desire to submit to the authority of God. If his/her pattern of life does not demonstrate that he/she desires to consistently submit to God, then it is time to find someone else. May the Lord bless you as you seek to know and love HIm.