Bible Question:
When does sexual passion become the sin of lust?
Bible Answer:
Many people at some point will wonder and ask, “When does sexual passion become the sin of sexual lust?” Our answer answers two questions: “What is the difference between sexual passion and sexual lust?” and “When does the longing for sexual activity become sin?”
God Designed Sexual Passion for Marriage
God designed and created Adam and Eve to have sexual passion and to engage in sexual activity within their committed marital relationship. In Genesis 1:26-28 we are told that God made the human race and commanded husbands and wives to have children. Adam and Eve obeyed God and had many children including Cain, Abel and Seth (Genesis 4:1-2; 25-26; 5:3-4). They did not sin when having sexual relations because they were obeying God. In order for Eve to become pregnant, both of them would have experienced strong sexual passions.
The Song of Solomon is a love story between King Solomon (Song of Solomon 3:9-11) and a Shulammite woman (Song of Solomon 6:13). In Song of Solomon 3:11 the bride and groom are married. Chapter four is devoted to the sexual activity that occurred on the wedding night. The chapter describes how they made love in very poetic terms. In verse 9 the king reveals that his heart is beating fast and he is ready for intercourse.
You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes . . .
Song of Solomon 4:9 (NASB)
God had the Song of Solomon written to teach us that He approves of sexual activity between a husband and a wife. That is, sexual passion, activity and orgasms were designed by God and approved by Him. Song of Solomon is a book devoted to marital love and it includes sexual passion and sexual activities. God included an entire chapter about how “to make love.”
Difference Between Sexual Passion and Sexual Lust
It is normal for both females and males to have very strong sexual feelings and be driven to satisfy them. Since God designed sexual activity for marriage, then marriage is the context in which He wants them to be satisfied. That is why God wrote 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, which commands husbands and wives to satisfy one aother’s sexual desires. Sexual activity between a husband and wife is not sinful.
Some people think that all sexual passion is the sin of sexual lust. Consequently, in the English language the word “lust” typically has a negative meaning. However, in the Greek language the English verb “to lust” is epithymeo. It can be translated as “to desire” or “to lust.” It simply refers to very strong emotions. Epithymeo can be good or evil. The point is that strong sexual passion or lust is not necessarily sinful. It depends upon the context. In marriage, overwhelming sexual lust is good. God designed it for marriage. It was and is God’s idea.
The Sin of Sexual Lust
Therefore, when does sexual lust become sin? Let us look at Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:27-28.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28 (NASB)
The Greek word that is translated as “look” in this passage is blepo. This verb is a present participle which refers to continuous action. This means that Jesus was describing a man who was repeatedly or continually looking at a woman while lusting after or thinking about enjoying sexual activity with her. The biblical definition of sexual activity is doing anything with your private parts or anything with someone else’s private parts.
In this passage, Jesus reveals that it is not a sin when a man accidentally or unexpectedly sees a naked woman, as long as he immediately looks away. To continue looking, or look again is a sin. It is not a sin to recognize that a clothed woman is beautiful or maybe notice that she is seductively dressed and become sexually aroused, as long as he instantly looks away. The issue is that something about her body sexual excites him. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus was talking about continued preoccupation with a woman to whom a man is not married. These examples describe the sin of sexual lust. This same principle also applies to women. In marriage, there is nothing wrong seeing your spouse naked and being sexually stimulated.
Also, a man must not try to find a naked women to look at, a woman who is wearing very little clothes, or a woman who sexually stimulates him some way. When a man intentionally looks at a women other than his wife, because something about her body is sexually stimulating, he commits the sin of sexual lust. In 2 Timothy 2:22, God warns women and men to flee youthful lusts.
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22
Again, the Greek word “lusts” is epithymeo. It refers to strong emotions, such as sexual feelings. This means that men and women are to avoid doing anything that might cause them to accidentally see a naked body— male or female body. “Flee” means that we must run away from such things. Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife who wanted sex with him. Men and women are to flee sexual lusts. Some men can be fully aroused by looking at women in short dresses, women in bikinis, underwear, and on goes the list. While the secular culture enjoys this, 2 Timothy 2:22 says to flee such temptations.
The article, “Is it sin for engaged couples to see or touch private parts?” explains that it is shameful for anyone to allow themselves to be seen naked, by someone who is not their husband or wife. This means that is also shameful for engaged couples to let each other see one another naked. So, should a man see a woman who shamefully allows herself to be seen fully naked or her breasts partially naked? If a woman allows someone ,who is not her husband, to see her fully naked or her breasts partially naked, what does that reveal about her? The same is true about fully naked or partially naked men.
A man can lust after a woman who is sitting next to him, walking by him, or just sitting across the room. The woman can be a friend’s girlfriend, or a woman in a magazine, a book, on the television, a video, a movie or in a painting. Men can lust because he just sees the shape of her body. Scripture describes sexual lusting in a number of places. Here are a few examples.
Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyelashes.Can a man embrace fire
and his clothes not be burned?
Proverbs 6:25, 27
They are all adulterers,
Like an oven heated by the baker
Who ceases to stir up
From the kneading of the dough until it is leavened.
Hosea 7:4 (NASB)
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. I Corinthians 7:9 (NASB)
Sexual passions can be very great, and sometimes very difficult to control. But Jesus’ taught that it is not a sin if a man accidentally sees a naked woman, as long as he immediately looks away and does not look back again, and does not continue to think about her in a sexual way. It may be difficult to not think about her, but he will not sin as long as he refuses to dwell on her and think about sexual activity with her.
The same is true for women since some women read magazines containing naked photos of men and some visit male strip clubs. They must not engage in such activity. Women can sin when they lust after or daydream about a man because of his character such as his kindness, mercy, grace, wealth and reputation. Sin occurs when a male or female lusts after or daydreams about anyone to whom they are not married. But it is not a sin for a husband to dream about or sexually desire his wife or for a wife to do the same toward her husband. Again, God designed husbands and wives to respond that way within marriage. God commands husbands and wives to satisfy each other’s sexual passions.
Conclusion:
Sexual passion should not be viewed as a sin in every situation. God designed sexual activity for marriage. God uses sexual passions to draw the hearts of a couple to one another. That is the message of the book of Song of Solomon.
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