Bible Question:

I'm 19 years old and one month ago I decided that I was going to become a better Christian and not pay attention to the worldly things. For one month now, I've haven't been drinking or going out to the clubs. I have been so happy that I have given these things up because I cannot serve two masters. One of my weaknesses right now is my mouth because of where I am at. We have a lot of homosexuals and bisexuals. I think that is wrong. Sometimes I tend to be rude to them when I do not mean to. I want to know how to better myself as a child of God. How can I tell people about Jesus and how can I go about respecting their sin, even though I sin as well? They walk around here proud to be the way they are when they should be proud to be one of God's children.

Bible Answer:

It appears that you are asking two questions: 1) How can I control what I say, and 2) How can I show respect and love to others? We will respond to both questions. May the Holy Spirit give you understanding as you read. We will start with what I sense is the real issue and then conclude with your concern about your speech.

Walking Around Proud

The comment that “they walk around here proud” may be a clue as to why you are having trouble with your speech. Jesus had this to say in the book of Matthew about our mouth or speech,

Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. (NASB) Matt. 15:17-19

Jesus is explaining that the words we speak reveal our heart. When we have unkind things to say to others, it is because our heart is wrong toward them. Is it possible that you are angry with them? If so, the following passage would be good for us to read together.

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NASB) 1 Cor. 6:9-11

Before God none of us are any better than anyone else. We have all sinned. We are all going to hell unless we believe or depend on Jesus Christ to forgive our sins. The apostle Paul said he was the worst sinner the world has ever known (1 Tim. 1:15). He said no one was worse than he was. He had the right attitude. If you are angry with people, ask God to show you why you are angry, and then confess your sin or anger to God. Ask God to change your heart by the power of the Holy Spirit and then your speech will change too.

We Should Not

One day I did a study to see what the Bible had to say about the words we speak. What I found changed what I say. God has told us what we should say as well as what we should not say. Let us look at the negative side first.

Proverbs 10:19, Prov. 18:2, James 1:19 are also very important passages. Together they tell us to not try to fill the silence with our words, or look for the next opportunity to speak, but to allow others to speak. There are many who want to talk and do not want to listen.

When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. (NASB) Prov. 10:19

A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind. (NASB) Prov. 18:2

This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak . . . . (NASB) James 1:19

If you have ever wanted others to think you are wise, read Proverbs 17:28.

We Should

Now here is what we should say.

Proverbs 15:1 is a great passage since it tells us how to respond to angry people. Has someone ever been angry with you and you ended up in a war of words? Here is the solution to ending the war of words. This works with most people.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NASB) Prov. 15:1

We are also encouraged to let our words be seasoned with grace.

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person. (NASB) Col. 4:6

What encouraging people we can be if we speak with kindness, truth, and gentleness. We could be edifying and our words could be pleasant. Have you ever wanted to be encouraging to others?


Remember that God wants your friends to believe in Jesus Christ too. God loves them and wants them to turn from their sin. Maybe God wants to use you to help some of them believe in Jesus. May the Lord bless you with grace and love.

Suggested Links:

How to be filled with the Spirit
When is it appropriate for Christians to use damn, darn, doom, drat, and hell?