Bible Question:

I am 15, about to be 16; my girlfriend is 14. Her parents don't like me at all and her dad says I am arrogant, pompous, obstinate, and a bad influence. I have tried hard to make sure that he approves of me. I prayed to God to give me a good girl to hold on to. I think she is the one for me, and I want to know what you think I should do?

Bible Answer:

God has placed you under the authority of your parents. It is His will that you obey and honor them (Eph. 6:1-3). It is God’s will that you submit to Him first and then to your parents. Every decision in your life, while you are living in your parents’ home, must be guided by these two principles. If your parents are believers in Jesus Christ, then you have the advantage of godly parents to help you. The book of Proverbs encourages a son to listen to God and to his parents. That is where you must start.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching . . . (NASB) Prov. 1:7-8

My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. (NASB) Prov. 3:1-6

A wise son accepts his father’s discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. (NASB) Prov. 13:1

God has promised you long life and health if you obey and honor them (Prov. 3:1; Eph. 6:1-3). Have you asked your parents for guidance? You might ask your parents to talk with her parents in order to understand why they are reacting to you in this manner. You might ask your parents if they understand why her parents are saying these things. I would start with questions.

Have you had a personal conversation with her parents and asked them how they feel about you? While your girlfriend may have some understanding about her parents’ feelings, most parents would consider a direct approach as being positive. Ask your parents if you should do this.


Remember that God will guide you through parents – your parents and her parents. Ultimately, if her parents do not want her to date you, you must respect their wishes because that would please God. Also, both of you are minors. While you may believe that this girlfriend is the correct one, God may be using her parents to tell you that there is someone better. You will have to wait. She is in the future. Remember that God is in total control and He works through parents (Rom. 8:28).

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