I have a friend who is a believer and goes to my church. Recently he started thinking that all of his Christian friends are two faced. He doesn't even want to hang out with them. He says it is better for him to hang out with his non-Christian friends and not his Christian friends. He was totally judging and criticizing everything his Christian friends do. He will only talk to me and I don't know what to tell him besides doing the “Matthew 18” with his friends and tell them of their faults.
It is difficult for us to know if your friend is correct in his opinion about his Christian friends. Your friend may be correct or he may be very critical.
If your description is correct, then he has a critical spirit and needs to spend some time with God confessing his sins. He needs to repent and admit to God that he has sinned. That is the first step. Why? Because he has sinned against God. King David admitted that when he had sinned, he had sinned against God.
As for me, I said, “O LORD, be gracious to me; heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.” (NASB) Ps. 41:4
This is the first step. Then we are ready for the next step – to love even our enemies. God has asked us to love even those who hate us (Matt. 5:43 ).
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. (NASB) Rom. 12:17-18
Now his friends are not his enemies; they are his friends. Then how much more should he love them? This situation could be as simple as forgiving one or more of them of some hurt or wrong that he has experienced.
It is also possible that he is correct. His friends may be “two faced.” They may be saying one thing and then doing something else. The prophet Ezekiel had this to say about religious people,
They come to you as people come, and sit before you as My people and hear your words, but they do not do them, for they do the lustful desires expressed by their mouth, and their heart goes after their gain. Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not practice them. (NASB) Ezek. 33:31-32
These people would listen to the prophet just as we do in our churches today. These people loved to go to church and hear the pleasant music and the great sermon, but when they left the temple they ignored everything they had heard, and lived as they desired. They were two faced. The real question is this, “Is your friend correct?” If he is, then he may need to confront them about their sin. If they do not respond, then he should contact one of the pastors in the church and seek some guidance.
Church discipline may need to be followed next. Church discipline is not punishment, but love seeking restoration. Our goal should always be to restore others to righteousness (Gal. 6:1-3). Our goal should be love and personal holiness. This does not mean that we should always seek a relationship with unrepentant friends. 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 is a warning to avoid any Christian who is an “immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler.” We are to avoid them to maintain holiness in the church (1 Cor. 15:33), but only after church discipline has been followed by our leaders.
Love should always be present. Our goal is always to love. Love restores the sinning brother in gentleness and kindness. Love also confesses and seeks a relationship even with those who may offend us. The Christian life is about a relationship with God first and then with others.
To The Glory of Christ
Thus says the LORD, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me . . . Jeremiah 9:23-24
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