I lost my life partner 1.5 years ago. I pray that God takes me home so that I won't have to be in this world anymore. Is it wrong to pray for death?
Your heart pain is understandable, and the grief must be immense. Yet, God has chosen to leave you here on this planet in order to accomplish something for Him. The scriptures remind us that God has determined the length of our days.
Since his days are determined, the number of his months is with You; and his limits You have set so that he cannot pass. (NASB) Job 14:5
LORD, make me to know my end and what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah. (NASB) Ps. 39:4-5
Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us, and the years we have seen evil. (NASB) Ps. 90:15
God has numbered our days upon this earth for a purpose. God has a purpose for each one of us to fulfill. He will leave us here until the proper time has come. Therefore, even though you are in extreme grief and agony, it is a sin to repeatedly ask or insist that God take your life and allow you to die. When we pray, we need to ask, “Lord willing.”
Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” (NASB) James 4:15
Instead, we need to be willing to submit to His plan for how long we live on this earth. God uses the difficult events of life to grow us and mature us spiritually. He uses these events in our lives to motivate us to seek Him with all our hearts.
If you know Jesus as your Lord, peace and joy will eventually come to you as you spend time in prayer and the scriptures, and dwell on Him. Here are two passages to dwell on.
I have inherited Your testimonies forever, for they are the joy of my heart. (NASB) Ps. 119:111
Those who love Your law have great peace . . . (NASB) Ps. 119:165
If you have never asked God to forgive your sins and take control of your life, please take a few minutes and do that. Read “Peace With God” and respond to God.
If you have already asked God to forgive you and take over your life, then the real issue is, “Do you want to please God?” For whom have you been living? I trust the answer is Him. The Apostle Paul encourages us to be content in this life independent of our circumstances.
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. (NASB) Philippians 4:11
We serve a God who understands us and is aware of every event that comes our way. Our purpose as followers of God is to please Him and seek His will – not our own. Christians serve a holy and loving God who works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). I would encourage you to ask God to reveal His will and purpose for you over the remaining days of your life.
I would encourage you to read the study, “Seeking God’s Will.” Take comfort in Matthew 28:20 and Romans 8:28. Christians serve a merciful and kind God who understands us (Hebrews 4:15-16). He is always with us and works all things together for good.