My family is grieving a lot and I want to have some answer or some kind of explanation for them. On March 15 my dad shot and killed himself (suicide). And now my mother is left to be a single mom with 2 kids. I would just like to know what am I to do. Where is my dad now? How could he do this to us? How could life get so bad?
I am sorry to hear about your father. May the Lord comfort your mother, sister/brother, and yourself. The death of loved ones always brings grief, but when one’s loved one chooses to commit suicide, it is more difficult.
Where is Dad?
We would like to tell you that your Dad is in heaven, but we do not know if he was a believer in Jesus Christ. If he believed that Jesus Christ was God, if he wanted Jesus to forgive his sins, and he followed Jesus, then he went to heaven to be with God. Suicide does not cause a person to end up in eternal punishment. Real belief results in a commitment to Jesus. Once we genuinely believe in Jesus Christ, we will go to heaven. That is the message of the following scripture,
These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. (NASB) 1 John 5:13
The word “believe” in this verse means that a person who is a Christian is one who starts believing in Jesus and then continues to believe. He or she never stops believing. Such persons always believe in Jesus, and they are committed to following Him. That is the mark of one who really believes in God. Then the verse says that it is possible to know that we have eternal life. The meaning of the word “know” has the idea that once I know I am a believer I will always know. That is, it is possible for one to know he/she is going to heaven even if suicide occurs. Did your dad believe in Jesus Christ?
Why did your dad take his own life? The ultimate answer is not because Dad was angry with someone or something. He did not kill himself because he was angry, irritated, or unhappy with you, a sister, brother, or your mother. He did not commit suicide because of someone or some event at work or elsewhere. No, he committed suicide because his relationship with God was not correct. Either he had never committed his life to Christ in the first place or if he, was a believer, was experiencing a period of deep doubt or lack of trust in God. Jesus said that he came to bring us peace and joy.
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (NASB) John 14:27
These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. (NASB) NAU John 15:11
Those who have a meaningful relationship with Jesus will have peace and joy. Your dad did not. Why? The verses just before John 15:11 tell us that this happens when we do not love others and do not obey God. He was not focused and trusting on God.
Suicide is tragic. The one who escapes this world by taking his or her life is ignoring God’s will for him or her. God brings difficult situations into our life in order to shape us and cause us to grow spiritually. Please know that you are not ultimately responsible, and if he was a believer in Jesus Christ, then he is heaven. What are you supposed to do? The answer is found in the following verse,
Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice, And be gracious to me and answer me. When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.” (NASB) Ps. 27:7
That the person who wrote this passage was in pain. God responded by encouraging him to seek Him. The solution to our problems and pain is found in seeking God. I would like to encourage you to read a message which is already at this site. It is called “God’s Great Passion.” May the Lord bless you.
Suggested Links:Peace With God
What does the Bible say about suicide?
How can God forgive someone who commits suicide?