Wise Woman Cooking for Her Family
Proverbs 14:1 is an important verse for every woman. It tells us that a wise wife builds her home, but that is not true of a wife who is foolish. The verse says,
The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
Therefore, we want to discover what must a wife do in order to to build her home? That is how a wife can be wise and not tear down her home. How does a foolish wife destroy her home? Notice that we are told the foolish wife does it with her hands. That is, a foolish woman is responsible herself for ruining her home.
The key to understanding the meaning of this proverb is to notice that the verse contrasts a wise woman to a foolish woman. So, if we can understand the characteristics of a wise person versus a foolish person, we begin to unlock the meaning of the verse. So, what does the Bible teach us about a wise person versus the fool? That will help us understand what wise and foolish wives do.
Characteristics of the Wise and the Fool
First, we are told in Proverbs 10:8 that the wise person receives commands but the foolish person does not.
The wise of heart will receive commands,
But a babbling fool will be ruined.
Proverbs 10:8 (NASB)
That is, the person listens and accepts commands or directions, but the foolish person just talks. The fool is not willing to receive directions or commands and the result is he or she is eventually ruined. That helps to begin understanding the difference between someone who is serious and wise versus the fool.
Proverbs 10:23 reveals that a wise person enjoys understanding, but a fool enjoys sin.
Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool,
And so is wisdom to a man of understanding.
Proverbs 10:23 (NASB)
A person can be academically brilliant but still be a fool. There are too many examples of very foolish professors in universities. They know how to read and remember facts and details, but they are foolish when left to themselves to make decisions. This proverb adds that the biblical fool also enjoys sin.
Another proverb, Proverbs 12:15, says that the wise listens to counsel, but a foolish person thinks he does not need instruction. Proverbs 15:2 adds that the wise knows how to help people accept instruction; but when the wise listen to the foolish, it becomes apparent that he or she just speaks folly or foolishness. So, people reject the word of a fool. Proverbs 17:10 indicates that wise accept rebuke, but that is not true of a fool. The proverb says the fool will not learn from hundred blows or trials. How many times has that occurred? Many teenagers have rejected the wisdom of a parent because they think they are wiser than their parents! Some adults repeatedly make the same error again and again.
Proverbs 18:2 says,
A fool does not delight in understanding,
But only in revealing his own mind.
Proverbs 18:2 (NASB)
This is a strong statement about fools. It reveals that the fool only enjoys revealing their own foolishness. That implies they reject wise advice. Proverbs 23:9 and Proverbs 27.22 tell us that the fool will not accept instruction. The fool believes that he or she alone can determine what is wisdom. They believe that they have great wisdom, and everyone else is foolish. The fool may ask for advice, but then he views himself as able to determine what is wise.
All of these verses help us understand that the wise wife seeks instructions and accepts rebuke. She is teachable and looks for wisdom. But the foolish wife thinks she is wise and everyone else is wrong. Worst of all the foolish wife rejects the instruction of Scripture, of her husband, and at times of other women. But the wise wife reads, studies, and practices what Scripture says.
Instructions for the Wise Wife
So, what are God’s instructions for the wise wife? First, Proverbs 5:18-19 is the first proverb reference about a husband and wife. It teaches that a wise husband will enjoy sexual activity with the bride of his youth and not with another woman.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.
Proverbs 5:18-19 (NASB)
At the same time, these two verses reveal that his wife must be wise to make the sexual activity possible. The implication is that the foolish wife will drive her husband away to another woman by refusing to engage in sexual activity. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 teaches us that a wise husband and a wise wife recognize that their body belongs to their spouse. In marriage spouses do not own our bodies. The message is that a wise wife joyfully engages in sexual activity with her husband. The same is true of the husband. The passage reveals that most wives and husbands enjoy sexual activity.
Proverbs 12:4 is another important proverb for it warns the wise wife to not shame her husband. There are wives who disagree with their husbands in public and even insult their husbands. Such a wife is not a crown for her husband. Here is the verse,
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4 (NASB)
Proverbs 19:13 describes a foolish wife as one who is constantly argumentative and confrontational to her husband. She is like the constant drip of water from a leaky roof or faucet.
And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.
Proverbs 19:13b (NASB)
When we connect this proverb with Ephesians 5:22-33, we learn that a wise wife submits to her husband. That characteristic of a wise wife is repeated in Titus 2:3-5 and 1 Peter 3:1-6. So, the characteristic is found in both the Old and New Testaments.
The most magnificent passage about a wise wife is Proverbs 31:10-31. Here she is described as a woman her husband trusts (v. 11). She does good for her husband (v. 11-12). She works hard to make clothing (v. 13, 21-22), shops for food (v. 14-15). She is a strong woman (v. 17), evaluates her productivity (v. 18), and helps the poor (v. 20). She enables her husband to be a leader in the community (v. 23). She helps earn money (v. 24). She is dignified and plans for the future (v. 25-26). She is not an idle woman. That is, she works hard (v. 27). She is praised by her family and others (v. 28-29, 31). Her best and great characteristic is that she is a believer and fears the Lord. That is, she seeks to be a righteous woman who pleases the Lord.
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Conclusion
The wife who possesses these characteristics is a wise woman and as a result she “builds” up her house. This concept includes her home, husband, and children. Otherwise, she is the foolish wife who destroys her home all by herself.
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