I know what the Bible says about divorce. I just have one question. In the state in which I reside, a married person can file for a divorce for any reason. It is called a “no contest divorce.” If for instance a Christian husband wants a divorce because he no longer loves his wife and files to the court for a divorce against the wife's wishes, his wife can do nothing. The court says the wife can do nothing to stop the proceedings. The wife on the other hand is a devout Christian and does not believe in divorce. So when the divorce is granted, is the wife in sin because of the unwanted divorce? If she marries will there be sin involved? What I am trying to determine is, “Will God hold a person responsible for a divorce even if the person was totally against it?”
We trust that the following will provide guidance to the question if you may marry again after your husband’s divorce. For those who want to know what God says about divorce you may want to read: 1) a sermon that Jesus preached in the Sermon on the Mount and 2) a section dealing with different questions about divorce.
Most men who “no longer love my wife” have already found another woman. I did counsel a man some years ago who claimed that he no longer loved his wife and was not already interested in another woman. That is very unusual. Time proved that he apparently was speaking the truth. Men leave their wives for a number of reasons. Here are some helpful things to consider from the book of Proverbs.
|Proverbs||Foolish Wife||Wise Wife|
|2:17||Rejects her friend (husband)|
|5:18-19||Satisfies her husband’s sexual needs.|
|11:22||Is concerned with inward beauty|
|12:4||Shames her husband|
|14:1||Is disorderly and unregulated in the care of the home|
|19:13 & 21:9||Is a nag|
|31:10-31||Description of an excellent wife|
The two major areas in which husbands fail – foolish husbands – are adultery and in providing for the family. These two are the major causes of divorce in the United States. Adultery can obviously be caused by both partners. When we talk about divorce, it is hard to say that there is an innocent party. Clearly, one spouse has decided that he/she s out, which makes the other spouse the “innocent party.” But each one has contributed to the divorce. In counseling it is sometimes difficult to know who is the real “innocent party.” Ultimately, it is the one who has tried his/her best to follow God’s wisdom. Usually, the one who leaves remarries or starts living with someone else within a year. When this happens it frees the other person to marry. The remarriage or “living with someone” is adultery and this frees the other spouse to have a “biblical remarriage.”
Jesus does not provide any freedom for the “offended” or “innocent party.” If a divorce occurs for any reason that does not involve adultery, neither party can remarry. Why did Jesus say this? The reason is simple. God would like the individuals to remarry each other some day. If they remarry different partners, then that cannot happen. But once one partner marries, the other is free to remarry.
Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with believers. He will never leave us. He will never “divorce us.” God hates divorce. He loves us and wants us to love our husbands and our wives. It is a picture of His love for Christians.