A Biblical Divorce

But I Say. But their interpretation of Deut. 24:1 was wrong. God did not want them to treat their spouses in this manner. They had abused the passage just as many do today. The popular view of the people was a liberal view of Deut. 24:1 that allowed them to do whatever they wanted. They did not realize that divorce was the door to more pain - not less pain.

. . . but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (NASB) Matt. 5:32

Jesus emphasized the fact that He was teaching. He repeated the word “I” so that Jesus statement literally says, “I, I say.” He was emphatic, “I say that everyone who divorces, except for . . . Unchastity . . .” The Greek word that Jesus uses for “unchastity” is PORNEIA. This Greek word has a broader meaning than just sexual relations with someone of the opposite sex. The word can refer to heterosexual and homosexual activity as well as incest and sex with an animal. It included any sexual activity outside of the marital relationship.

Jesus granted divorce only when the physical relationship of marriage is violated. A divorce for sexual unfaithfulness is a biblical divorce because it is granted by God with His blessing. But divorce for any other reason does not have His blessing.

If a husband divorces his wife for any other reason and then his wife marries someone else, she commits adultery and so does the man who marries her. At first it might seem that this passage is biased against wives, but Luke provides a balanced picture,

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. (NASB) Luke 16:18

Luke says that if the husband marries, he will commit adultery and so will anyone who marries him too! So in summary, if a divorce occurs for unbiblical reasons - other than sexual activity outside of marriage - then both the husband and wife commit adultery if they marry someone else. Whoever then marries him/her also commits adultery. A marriage resulting in adultery displeases God. Now that is tough.

One More Reason For Divorce. Today couples are ignoring God and divorcing anyway. They get divorced because the wife has a clutter problem in the home, the wife is too fat, he is too lazy, he does not make enough money, he wants too much sex, “I am no longer number one in his life,” or “he has emotionally left me.” These are just a few reasons.

The last reason was given to me some years ago by a young woman who felt rejected by her husband. She claimed to be a Christian. So when I asked her why she believed that it was okay to leave her husband, she said that 1 Cor. 7:12-15 gave her permission to divorce him. Here is the passage she referred to.

But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. (NASB) 1 Cor. 7:12-15

I had to explain that the passage is talking about an unbelieving wife leaving her husband or an unbelieving husband leaving his wife. That is, if the unbelieving spouse no longer wants to live with the believing spouse, then the Christian spouse is supposed to let him or her go. God understands that those who do not believe in God might not want to live with a Christian.