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Bible Question: Recently,
I had a discussion with a friend about the role of man and woman
in a marriage. What is a woman's role in a marriage? Can a husband "discipline" her?
Is it appropiate for her to speak up and stand up for herself?
Bible Answer: God
designed marriage to be between two people who were physically born
into this world as a male and a female. God intended marriage to
be loving, caring, sexual, respectful, and between equals. This last
point is sometimes missed.
The Fall. The answer to your question
starts with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God had warned Adam and Eve not
to eat of the Tree of Good and Evil.
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And
the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree
of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the
day that you eat from it you shall surely die.” (NASB)
Gen. 2:16-17 |
That
sounds like a simple command, but Eve wanted to taste it. Satan saw
an opportunity and encouraged Eve to eat anyway (Gen. 3:1-6).
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When
the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it
was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable
to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she
gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. (NASB) Gen.
3:6 |
The
New Testament says that Eve did not really understand what she was
doing.
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And
it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite
deceived, fell into transgression. (NASB) 1 Tim. 2:14 |
But
Adam knew what he was doing.
The
Result - Eve's Control. How did God respond? God visited them
in the cool of the day and confronted them about what they had done.
They had disobeyed God. They had sinned. Therefore, God punished
Satan and disciplined Eve and Adam. The discipline that Eve received
is significant. Here we find a discipline that has resulted in a
problem today for every husband and wife.
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To
the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain
in childbirth, in pain you shall bring forth children; yet
your desire shall be for your husband . . ." (NASB)
Gen. 3:16 |
When
we read the word "desire," few of us are concerned. The
word sounds good. But the Hebrew word for "desire" has
the idea of "desire to control." This Hebrew word also
occurs in the next chapter in Genesis 4:7.
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If
you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And
if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and
its desire is for you, but you must master it. (NASB) Gen.
4:7 |
God
is speaking to Cain who later kills his brother Abel. The same word
translated "desire" in Gen. 3:16 is the word "desire" in
this verse. The word does not have a pleasant meaning here. It has
the idea of a war for control. It is an issue of mastering someone
or something. What was the result of Eve's sin? She and her descendants
now want to control their husbands.
The Result - Adam's Lack of Love. Not
only will Eve now try to gain control of her husband and change him, he will
no longer love her as he did before their sin.
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".
. . and he shall rule over you.” (NASB) Gen. 4:7 |
The
Hebrew word for "rule" has the idea of unloving leadership
or dictator. She wants to gain control over him and he will not love
her as he should. After the fall husbands and wives were at war with
each other.
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