Bible Question: Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about the role of man and woman in a marriage. What is a woman's role in a marriage? Can a husband "discipline" her? Is it appropiate for her to speak up and stand up for herself?   Bible Answer:    God designed marriage to be between two people who were physically born into this world as a male and a female. God intended marriage to be loving, caring, sexual, respectful, and between equals. This last point is sometimes missed.       The Fall. The answer to your question starts with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God had warned Adam and Eve not to eat of the Tree of Good and Evil.     And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die.” (NASB) Gen. 2:16-17   That sounds like a simple command, but Eve wanted to taste it. Satan saw an opportunity and encouraged Eve to eat anyway (Gen. 3:1-6).     When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. (NASB) Gen. 3:6   The New Testament says that Eve did not really understand what she was doing.     And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression. (NASB) 1 Tim. 2:14   But Adam knew what he was doing.         The Result - Eve's Control. How did God respond? God visited them in the cool of the day and confronted them about what they had done. They had disobeyed God. They had sinned. Therefore, God punished Satan and disciplined Eve and Adam. The discipline that Eve received is significant. Here we find a discipline that has resulted in a problem today for every husband and wife.     To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, in pain you shall bring forth children; yet your desire shall be for your husband . . ." (NASB) Gen. 3:16   When we read the word "desire," few of us are concerned. The word sounds good. But the Hebrew word for "desire" has the idea of "desire to control." This Hebrew word also occurs in the next chapter in Genesis 4:7.     If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it. (NASB) Gen. 4:7   God is speaking to Cain who later kills his brother Abel. The same word translated "desire" in Gen. 3:16 is the word "desire" in this verse. The word does not have a pleasant meaning here. It has the idea of a war for control. It is an issue of mastering someone or something. What was the result of Eve's sin? She and her descendants now want to control their husbands.       The Result - Adam's Lack of Love. Not only will Eve now try to gain control of her husband and change him, he will no longer love her as he did before their sin.     ". . . and he shall rule over you.” (NASB) Gen. 4:7   The Hebrew word for "rule" has the idea of unloving leadership or dictator. She wants to gain control over him and he will not love her as he should. After the fall husbands and wives were at war with each other.            < Back   Next >
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