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Bible Question: I
know what the Bible says about divorce. I just have one question.
In the state in which I reside, a married person can file for
a divorce for any reason. It is called a "no contest divorce."
If for instance a Christian husband wants a divorce because
he no longer loves his wife and files to the court for a divorce
against the wife's wishes, his wife can do nothing. The court
says the wife can do nothing to stop the proceedings. The wife
on the other hand is a devout Christian and does not believe
in divorce. So when the divorce is granted, is the wife in sin
because of the unwanted divorce? If she marries will there be
sin involved? What I am trying to determine is, "Will God
hold a person responsible for a divorce even if the person was
totally against it?"
Bible Answer:
You
have asked a tough question. Lord willing, we hope that the
following answer will help provide some guidance. For those
who want to know what God says about divorce you may want to
read: 1) a sermon
that Jesus preached in the
Sermon on the Mount and 2) a section
dealing with different questions about divorce.
Marriages. Most men who "no longer
love my wife" have already found another woman. I did counsel
a man some years ago who claimed that he no longer loved his
wife and was not already interested in another woman. That is
very unusual. Time proved that he apparently was speaking the
truth. Men leave their wives for a number of reasons. Here are
some helpful things to consider from the book of Proverbs.
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Proverbs |
Foolish
Wife |
Wise
Wife |
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2:17 |
Rejects
her friend (husband) |
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5:18-19 |
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Satisfies
her husband's sexual needs. |
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11:22 |
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Is
concerned with inward beauty |
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12:4 |
Shames
her husband |
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14:1 |
Is
disorderly and unregulated in the care of the home |
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17:1 |
Creates
strife |
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19:13
& 21:9 |
Is
a nag |
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27:15-16 |
Nags
constantly |
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31:10-31 |
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Description
of an excellent wife |
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The two major areas in which husbands fail - foolish husbands
- are adultery and in providing for the family. These two are
the major causes of divorce in the United States. Adultery can
obviously be caused by both partners. When we talk about divorce,
it is hard to say that there is an innocent party. Clearly,
one spouse has decided that he/she s out, which makes the other
spouse the "innocent party." But each one has contributed
to the divorce. In counseling it is sometimes difficult to know
who is the real "innocent party." Ultimately, it is
the one who has tried his/her best to follow God's wisdom. Usually,
the one who leaves remarries or starts living with someone else
within a year. When this happens it frees the other person to
marry. The remarriage or "living with someone" is
adultery and this frees the other spouse to have a "biblical
remarriage." Jesus' Statement. Jesus
does not provide any freedom for the "offended" or
"innocent party." If a divorce occurs for any reason
that does not involve adultery, neither party can remarry. Why
did Jesus say this? The reason is simple. God would like the
individuals to remarry each other some day. If they remarry
different partners, then that cannot happen. But once one partner
marries, the other is free to remarry.
Conclusion:
Marriage
is a picture of Christ's relationship with believers. He will
never leave us. He will never "divorce us." God hates
divorce. He loves us and wants us to love our husbands and our
wives. It is a picture of His love for Christians. |
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