To Whom? When
we do commit these sins to whom should we confess? There are three
answers. The first person is God because we have sinned against Him.
That is why King David said the following after he had committed adultery
I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me. Against
You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight,
so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when
You judge. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin
my mother conceived me. (NASB) Ps. 51:3-5
admitted that he had sinned against God and He confessed his sin.
When Christians confess their sins and express their sorrow to God,
He forgives all of their sins because of Jesus Christ. Much
of the grief and pain will disappear after we admit our wrong to Him.
we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive
us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NASB)
1 John 1:9
We can also sin against men and women!
fact, anytime we cause someone else to sin or stumble, we sin against
so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience
when it is weak, you sin against Christ. (NASB) 1 Cor. 8:12
In the case of adultery, a person not only sins against God but against
the one with whom he/she had sex. Now for the big question. Does a
person, who committed sexual sin, need to confess the sin to the person
with whom he/she had sex as well as o his/her spouse?
The answer is found in two passages. The first one tells us to go
to one who is angry with us and the second one tells us to confess
our sins to others.
if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there
remember that your brother has something against you, leave
your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled
to your brother, and then come and present your offering. (NASB)
Therefore, confess your sins to one another . . . (NASB) James
Jesus is saying that we should not have any issue between us and another
person if possible. It is always possible the person may reject our
admission of guilt and request for forgiveness. The second passage
tells us to admit our sins to other Christians. If to other Christians,
how much more to our own spouse? A husband and wife are one flesh
(Matt. 19:5). Should we tell our spouse?
God also tells husbands and wives that
their bodies do not belong to themselves. Their bodies belong
to their spouses. This is not a popular statement among many people
today. But that is the message in the following verse.
because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and
let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill
his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the
husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority
over his own body, but the wife does. (NASB) 1 Cor. 7:2-4
it comes to sexual relations, a husband's body belongs to his wife
and the wife's body belongs to her husband. When we marry, we are
giving our bodies away. God does not mean that a person can abuse
their spouse. That is not the message. The message is that God does
not want spouses denying sexual relations with their husband/wife.
This biblical principle also means that he/she does not have the right
to commit adultery. A husband/wife does not own his/her body. If a
husband/wife commits adultery, he/she has sinned against their wife/husband.
Should he/she tell their spouse? The answer is yes.