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  Bible Question: My girlfriend’s parents do not seem to like or respect me. Can I have some scriptures that will help me with this problem?
 
Bible Answer: Before we start it is important to remember that when we are seeking someone’s approval, it is common for us to fear rejection and so we evaluate their actions. Consequently, it is easy to think we are being rejected when we do not know the person well. It is possible her parents approve of you. But to answer your question, we will assume they do not.
     There are a number of reasons your girlfriend’s parents may not approve of you. Parents usually want someone to marry their daughter or son who is like their child or better than their child. The book of Proverbs gives us some clues as to what parents look for in their offspring's conduct.
     How To Make Parents Glad. Our first two passages in Proverbs say that a wise son makes his father glad but a foolish son causes both grief and bitterness to his mother.
 
  A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother. (NASB) Prov. 10:1
 
A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him. (NASB) Prov. 17:25
 
This should also be true of a potential son-in-law. You need to show wisdom to gain a father’s approval. What does Proverbs mean by wisdom? God tells us that wisdom is found in the book of Proverbs.
 
  The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: to know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity . . . (NASB) Prov. 1:1-3
 
As a man in my twenties I would read the book of Proverbs over and over again to gain wisdom, understanding, knowledge, discretion and discernment. I would pray and I still do pray that God will give me these things, especially discernment. I have much to learn and I need all that the Lord will give me. I would encourage you to start by reading Proverbs everyday for several years. Once you finish the book, start over again and continue re-reading it. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom.
     Signs of a Wise Son/Son-in-Law. What are the signs of a foolish son or potential son-in-law? The first sign is the son’s attitude towards his mother or a son-in-law’s attitude towards his mother-in-law.
 
  A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. (NASB) Prov. 15:20
 
Any son who despises his mother is not wise and if he is not wise he is a grief and bitterness to his mother according to the above passages. The same is probably true of a potential son-in-law and mother-in-law relationship. One sign of a foolish son or son-in-law is his sexual life.
 
  Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," And call understanding your intimate friend; that they may keep you from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her words . . . And I saw among the naive, And discerned among the youths A young man lacking sense, passing through the street near her corner; And he takes the way to her house . . . With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool . . . (NASB) Prov. 7:4-5, 7-8, 21-22
 
A foolish young man is one who has sex before marriage or outside of marriage. It does not matter if you love her, the issue is, “Did you have sex with her?" God’s divine standard is that we wait until after we are married to have physical relations.
     
 
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