The Holy Spirit says a wife has the responsibility to meet the needs of her husband. Her body belongs to her husband. Now this thought is not very popular today, but it is from the Holy Spirit. Today we do not want to be subject to anyone, but the Holy Spirit's command is clear. The same is true with the husband. He does not control his own body. Now the Holy Spirit does not mean that either the wife or husband has the right to be demanding and inconsiderate. It means the husband and wife are to lovingly submit to one another. Listen to verse 3, "Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband (NASB)." Some demanding husbands and some wives, believe it or not, are unloving and inconsiderate in this area. That is sin. I have even heard of wives using sex as a treat for good behavior! And there are husbands who deny their wife sexual relations. It is sin for a spouse to constantly say "no" to their partner or make up excuses, and it is sin for a spouse to be demanding. Both are sin!   Conclusion: Is it okay for an unmarried man and a woman to hug, hold hands or give an occasional peck? The answer is found in "flee sexual immorality (2 Tim. 2:22). Most engaged couples find it difficult to avoid sexual relations before they get married. Touching leads to hugging which leads to kissing and eventually to sexual relations. That is how God designed us, but it is sin if sexual relations occur before marriage. The message of 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is to flee sin and to get married and have sexual relations with your spouse.      Contrary to popular belief, premarital sex does not help one check-out sexual compatability. Research has shown that most couples who have had sexual relations before marriage have a higher divorce rate and are more unhappy. This is consistent with the couples that I have counseled. The premarital experience is an irritating thorn in the marriage. It is always a source of unhappiness and pain.      May I suggest that any seriously engaged Christian couple discuss this topic. Talk about boundaries. If holding hands causes a sexual desire - STOP! If it is kissing - STOP! Set honest boundaries. Remember our focus is to please the Lord by fleeing sin. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is about fleeing sexual immorality.       < Back
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